Blessings

"Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears. What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near. What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise."

I've been needing to update my blog for a long time now. A very long time. For some reason I couldn't do it. All of a sudden my life was moving in fast pace again and I didn't know what to say exactly or how to say it. Since my last post I found out that I was cancer free. PRAISE GOD! I went through four more chemo treatments and then radiation. I must admit that I went through radiation unexpectedly and as such I was very disappointed and angry. Oh, but the joy. Now I wonder...why did I complain when I had so much to be grateful for?

I couldn't be happier with life right now. Tonight I realized just how blessed I am. I made it through something that some do not. I gained strength, friendship, love, maturity, and wisdom. Even though I was so sure that I was going to make it through this storm...it's almost as if I've been given a second chance at life. The world just doesn't quite look the same.

God has been working in my life. If I'm completely honest my walk with him has almost been non existent lately...and with what I've been going through you would wonder how on earth that could be true? How could I stop spending time with the one that has given me so much. And the answer...I have no idea. What I do know is that HE has been speaking to me and working something in me so wonderful that I can not even say what it is. I don't know what it is. I just know that over the past few weeks my walk has been growing stronger, and the more he works to stir something in me, the more I see how wonderfully blessed I am.

HE has worked to provide two jobs. One job where I have gotten to meet wonderful people and make new friendships, and a job that allows me to work on my time and for people that I deeply care about and who deeply care about me. HE has provided me with someone who will stand by my side and go to church with me and someone that I have no doubt in my mind that HE is working in as much as HE is working in me. HE is also making me an aunt; giving me another part to my family. Someone that I will be able to hold and to love. Another part of my family that will be able to bless me.

I am so blessed. I am so loved. I don't know what God has planned for me in the future. I don't know what it is that he is working to do within me, but I know that I am willing to go. I want more than anything to walk and talk with my father and for him to use me. It's time that I serve. It's time that I stop being so consumed and caught up in this world. For the biggest servant of all, for the one who died for me...for the one who loves me. Now may I serve you, Lord. Thank you. For more blessings than I could ever ask for. Thank you. For all the blessings that I do not deserve. Thank you. for the second chance at life you have given me. Guide me. Use me. My heart is yours, Lord. Thank you.


"What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy. And what if trials of this life. The rain, the storms, the hardest nights are your mercies in disguise."


"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!" 1 chronicles 16:34